


Your last dying breath

by princessrosberg



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Coma, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 02:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7556917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessrosberg/pseuds/princessrosberg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pierre knows it's time to let go, but he can't face the reality of saying goodbye for the final time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your last dying breath

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah this is, well it's something. I asked my friend for an angst prompt and she just screamed death at me so this was spawned. I guess enjoy? I mean it's soul crushing angst but hey ho.

It's become routine now, to sit by Alex's bedside, holding his hand and telling him what he's been missing. He hopes Alex can hear him, that he's not just talking to himself and looking like a complete idiot - he knows he is though, it's silly to think Alex can hear really. He's not responded in days, weeks, months or years now, the small line of life still flickers across the screen, the constant beep, beep, beep serves as a reminder that Alex is still here, that's he not left Pierre alone.

His hand is still warm, his cheeks are still filled with colour and his lips are still the same pink they were years ago. Alex should be celebrating his 28th in a few weeks, or was it 29th? Pierre lost count long, long ago. A soft noise filters through the room, and Pierre's eyes instantly drop down to the boy on the bed, expecting his dark brown eyes to be gazing back up at him - they're not however, they never are. Mitch is stood in the doorway, a bunch of pink flowers this time as he can only force a tiny smile on his face.

He's grown up since they were racing, aged slightly and grew a few inches, but he's still the same sweet loving Kiwi he was years ago.

"Pierre,"

Mitch's voice is soft, gentle as if he's afraid to scare Pierre. He watches Mitch step closer to the two, accepts the bright pink flowers with a tiny trace of a smile - it's hard to smile nowadays, in fact Pierre sometimes forgets how to. They don't say anything else, Pierre's eyes stay locked on Alex's face, never once looking away. He can hear Mitch moving about, the noises quiet but still enough to make Pierre flinch occasionally.

"Pierre we- we need to talk"

He feels Mitch's soft hand against his shoulder, but he can't look away, can't take his eyes off Alex - he's scared he'll miss the first flutter of Alex's eyes.

"I spoke to the nurse before I came, and she-"

"Don't say it,"

His voice is so desperate, as if the pleading and tears will change what Mitch is about to say. He's expected it for weeks now, always pushing it to the back of his mind and pretending that it wasn't coming. But now it has, and Pierre doesn't know if he can survive without Alex. It's not really his Alex anymore though, it's not been his Alex for a long time now.

"Pierre, you know we can't carry on like this"

The tears fall again, the all to familiar feeling of wetness slide down his cheeks, dripping onto the crisp white sheets.

"We're all worrying about you, you're not the same anymore and if Alex could see-"

"Stop it"

"Pierre please, listen to me"

Mitch's hand is soft and warm when it curls around Pierre's free one, the warmth is a little hotter though, compared to Alex's.

"I don't want to lose him too, but we all know he won't-"

He stops, his soft sigh only just audible, and Pierre finally looks up into Mitch's eyes. They're blood red - from all the crying, Pierre can guess - he looks so tired and drained of energy, the constant smile that is usually present isn't there anymore. Pierre doesn't want to think how he looks, he's not looked at his reflection in weeks.

"You know if he could see you now this would kill him"

Pierre bites his lip, the soft skin shaking beneath his teeth. Mitch squeezes his hand in comfort, almost like he knows what Pierre is thinking, though it's not hard to guess anymore.

"Just- come outside for 5 minutes, please?"

And Pierre gives in, he could never say no to those soft, honey brown eyes.

* * *

 

The nurse is there, dressed in the all too familiar dark blue outfit, the emotionless eyes glancing between Pierre and her clipboard. Everyone he loves is there, standing around with the same tear filled expression. Mitch's hand never once leaves Pierre, and he soon finds himself finding comfort in the soft and warm skin.

"We know this is hard for you all, but we have done absolutely everything we can now. It's been 6 years and there hasn't once been any sign of Alexander breathing on his own, you can all have as long as you need to say goodbye"

She turns away without another word, heels clacking down the hallway in the quiet room. Pierre feels dizzy at the words, almost taunting to him that she doesn't think Alex can survive, that he's too weak to get through this. Mitch brushes away the tears from his cheeks before Pierre even realises he's crying - it's become second nature to him now.

"Come on,"

Mitch's voice is pained when he speaks up, trying to take charge of the whole ordeal as he always did - always looking out for others before himself. Pierre let's his body take control, lazily following behind Mitch as he gently pulls his hand back through the hallways, back towards Alex.

* * *

 

Pierre doesn't know how long he sits there for, holding Alex's hand between his own, his lips pressed lightly against the skin to savour every feel, the one he'll never have anymore. His fingers brush through Alex's hair, the dark locks soft as ever. They trail down his face, trace over his cheek bone and along his jaw line - Pierre remembers when he'd press kisses there, smile bursting onto his face when Alex giggled about being too ticklish, pushed him away with that cheeky smile that made Pierre fall for him in the first place.

He looks over his face for the final time, his thick eyelashes, the curve of his nose, the tiny freckle on his left cheek - all the things Pierre would never be able to see again, not in real life anyway. He stays there until Mitch has to coax him away, the sun almost set over the horizon - it makes him think of the time they watched the sunset together, the first date they had, when Alex stuttered to ask him out and blushed bright red when Pierre had said yes.

His grip is tight around Mitch, grasping at the Kiwi as if he's about to lose him too. He watches the doctor, gently pulling the drip out of Alex's hand, the tubes from his nose and mouth. He looks like his Alex again now, not surrounded in tubes and wires and loud machines. It almost looks like he's sleeping. The beeping suddenly stops, a constant noise now, the line gone from flickering to flat, before everything is silent. It's over just like that, and Pierre still can't come to the terms that his Alex, the man he was set to marry, the man he was supposed to spend his entire life with, is gone.

Pierre drops to his knees, his heart shattering into a thousand pieces, and he screams. Screams until his lungs burn and his voice dies out. He fights against Mitch to let him stay, to let him stay curled up next to Alex and pretend none of this is happening, eventually slumping against the Kiwi when the exhaustion kicks in. He let's Mitch drag him back to their car, let's him hold his shaking body tight in his arms and brush away his tears.

He doesn't fight when Mitch tucks him into bed beside him, doesn't fight the comforting arm that curls around his waist, or the whisper of sorry, or the soft kiss against the back of his neck. Pierre can't remember when he falls asleep, but he prays that he doesn't wake back up in the morning. He prays and he prays and he prays.


End file.
